Saturday, February 20, 2010
life being a new mom
Well so far being a single mom at the age of 19 is going smooth. I try to see everyday as a new adventure since the baby grows more each day. It gets tough considering that I don't have the right amount of money to do what I need to survive, but I have been lucky enough to still be on my feet. I am home everyday with the baby and the only thing I do is watch tv, take care of the baby, do homework, take care of the baby, do laundry, eat, and take care of the baby...its kind of sad that its all I do. Sometimes I wish I could have something to do besides this but I know it is my responsibility. The same subject comes up about the baby knowing his father. When things are complicated its so hard to decide what to do in tough situations that I know can't solve its self. What should I tell him. I know I cant lie to him and make him think someone else is his father. I don't want him to resent me when he gets to the age where he can understand why his father isn't around. My mother says it doesn't matter if his father is in his life because he is loved and that is all that matters. I believe that to. Tell me what you guys think! =)
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I'm sorry that things haven't worked out with your baby's father. Has he disappeared completely? I hope that there is some way that the baby will be able to have a relationship with his father. I am usually good at relationship advice, but I don't know enough about the situation. Could you elaborate about what happened to the father?
ReplyDeleteIf it was me, I would explain to the child, later on of course, that some families have a mommy and daddy, some have one mommy, some have one daddy, some have 2 mommies, some have 2 daddies. Everybody's different, and that doesn't mean that the child will be loved any less....kinda like your mom said. :)
Nicole,
ReplyDeleteI am a single mom. I was in your shoes too. I was 15 when I had my first daughter. I never said anything bad to any of my daughters. They dont all have the same dad either. My first daughter (Tanya) I told her right from the start she had a different daddy. I again never said he left her or he didnt want to be a dad, I told her that her daddy just was too young to raise a daughter and as she got older she just always knew she was loved and that was all she needed. Now she 19 and she wanted to meet him so the next court date we had for support I brought her with and he only showed by phone but the judge talked to her and she told her dad she wanted to meet him but he hung the phone up so the judge gave her his address to send him a letter. Well she did and he sent it back unopened!! I still have not said anything bad about him to her. She just always knew her dad.
Hello Nicole,
ReplyDeleteSometimes a child should know their genetic roots in case they have pre-dispositions for certain health problems. Other than that, if a parent is not in their lives, as long as they have love from people who love them that is all that matters.
I have been a single mother. When my daughter graduated from high school she wanted to find her father and again when she got married, even though she was raised by another man whom she viewed as her father. I went out of my way to find her father and they corresponded. He tried to make her feel guilty about not flying all the way across the country to see him because he had health problems. She asked me if she should go. I told her if she wanted to, but not because he pressured her. After all, he did not bother with her for twenty some years, why should she go out of her way?
Just love your son and he will be fine. Other males will help you if he needs a father figure. Your father or other male members of the family or friends will pitch in to help.
Nicole, we are the adults and do what we feel is the right thing to do for our children. We protect them at all costs. If the baby daddy wants to be a part of his child's life, he will be. Always let your child know he exists. Whether it is important or not, is not for me to say. Everyone is different. Just love your baby. Right now that's all that is needed; Love.
ReplyDeleteHi Nicole:
ReplyDeleteI don't know how it is to be a mother at 19 but it's hard just being a mother at any age. We have so much to do and there are times when we wish that we could just relax and let someone else do the work for us. Just know that as your child grows you will get to see all of the things that the father will be missing out on such as the first steps, first smile, first words and other things. It will all go by so fast that you will wonder where the time went.
Best wishes to you and much success with the baby.