my birthday

Well today March 29th is my 20th birthday. Although I am excited I have grown to know that I must not have a lot of friends that I thought I had. Year after year I have less people to tell me happy birthday..yes it hurts, I mean I sometimes want to be remembered especially on the day I was brought into the world. I think it is pretty sad when I always remember others birthday but the favor is not returned. It makes me realize who my true friends are. I am not typing this to make it seem like I am the queen and want attention, I just get sad because I am often forgotten. This new life as a mother has nothing to do with this. I always feel let down by people who call me up and tell me lets hang out and go out and we make plans then they call me the last minute while I am getting ready or something and say " I am sorry I can't go" and for some reason they always use the same excuse " I have no money." To me I think, why did they offer to go out in the first place? Even my own family does it. =(

talking like crazy

So the baby is always talking now. Not like talking words, but baby talk. The word he has learned to say is "agoo" my mom and I have been telling him to say it over and over and he says it all the time now haha. Isaac is only 2 months and a week (pheww time passes) and he has such a beautiful character. He has these big dark brown eyes and when he is wide awake he looks at everything like hes mesmerized, when he see's me he gives me the biggest and cutest smile you have ever seen. I love it! I noticed he loves to talk when people are talking. He just goes on and on thinking he is talking! lol. He is also a big mover. He continuously kicks his legs and moves his arms almost like he never got rid of the habit like when he was in my tummy. When I lay him on his tummy for "tummy time" he lifts his head up and kicks his legs like he thinks he is going somewhere. These are honestly the most memorable and best moments of my life. Sometimes I wish I had someone to share this with.

My first time with the baby sick

Well the time has come to where I am sick, and now the baby is sick along with me. I dont like to see him sick, it scares me because he is so small. He just turned two months and he gets his shots tomorrow so I am hoping that he will be able to get them, last I checked the doctor won't give him his shots if he is sick. I know this will upset me because I have waited so long for his shots and I dont want to risk him to other sicknesses in the world. I just got sick myself and I am not enjoying it. I hate being sick because I get more lazy, my appetite slows down, and then I risk getting others sick just like my baby. Any tips on what I can do to get better quicker?

time goes by and things get better

I have met someone, his name is Steven. so far I like him and I think that we can make something out of this tiny spark we have. One thing that makes me fear getting into some kind of relationship again is the fear of it falling apart. I get so worried that if I give my heart out again I will end up getting dropped like a hot tamale again. One thing is for sure though. We are happy. He is more then I want and need but I don't let that get to me. I just want to make sure that when we make things official that it goes good. i am not sure what to do being a single mom. Now that I am a mom everything is a new experience. What should I do?

how should I handle this situation?

This past Saturday my father told me I can go out while he watched the baby. He also told me that he was just going to stay home with his girlfriend and watch a movie. He did not give me a certain curfew to come home and he said to call him if I stayed out a little later. At first he seemed like he was ok with anything that I did. So I went out with a friend and around 11 we decided to catch a late movie. So I called my dad and told him I would be home at 1. He started telling me I was taking advantage of him watching the baby. Now I understand what he ment but he didn't give me certain directions on how late I can stay out and he did not tell me he would be bothered of how late I stayed. So I told him that it was unfair on how he was acting and that I needed this time to be out so I can relieve some stress. I am home all day everyday just with the baby and it can get to me not having anything to do. So I ended up leaving the movie early so he wouldn't get mad at me and came home. In the morning I noticed that there was alcohol in the kitchen. I know that my father is responsible but I felt that it was disrespectful to drink while watching my infant. How would you handle that...Now he is my father and I am living under his roof, but I am not sure how to have an adult talk about how I feel about this. Any advice?