My luau party =)

This Saturday is my late birthday party, but it isn't just for me, its also for my other two girl cuzins, Liz and Pricilla. I am sooo excited because the party is Luau themed and we get to wear clothes like we are in Hawaii and party like its 1999 haha. There's going to be food, games, alcohol, swimming, and dancing. I am so excited because my family will be there and so will my friends and my man is going so I know I will have fun. He even promised a dance with me =). Well I hope all is well with everyone and wish me luck! Oh and one more thing I am making individual cupcakes for me and my cuzins, I am excited for that haha. Instead of cake so people can just grab one. Take care people!

My last blog =(

Well its been a very long 10 weeks and already it is time to turn in our final papers and move onto new terms. I have got to be honest, I have been very lazy and have not been working as hard as I should be. I hate to make excuses but I know it has been so hard for me to do my work because I am always doing something, I clean, do laundry, run errands, go to doctors appointments, and then to welfare appointments. This is when life as a mom is busy. It is all for the better. I am going to be getting a new stereo along with speakers installed into my car, I am super excited about that! The baby is doing great, he still has a bit of a cough but when I get him into the doctors I will be able to determine if there is something wrong with him, I am hoping he doesnt have asthma. Is asthma hereditary? My ex used to have it due to his mother smoking around him, and I am praying he doesn't because I don't have it so hopefully he doesn't either. Well class I will miss writing, it relieves a lot of stress. Have a good one, and thanks to all the people who read and gave me advice on my blogs.

my birthday

Well today March 29th is my 20th birthday. Although I am excited I have grown to know that I must not have a lot of friends that I thought I had. Year after year I have less people to tell me happy birthday..yes it hurts, I mean I sometimes want to be remembered especially on the day I was brought into the world. I think it is pretty sad when I always remember others birthday but the favor is not returned. It makes me realize who my true friends are. I am not typing this to make it seem like I am the queen and want attention, I just get sad because I am often forgotten. This new life as a mother has nothing to do with this. I always feel let down by people who call me up and tell me lets hang out and go out and we make plans then they call me the last minute while I am getting ready or something and say " I am sorry I can't go" and for some reason they always use the same excuse " I have no money." To me I think, why did they offer to go out in the first place? Even my own family does it. =(

talking like crazy

So the baby is always talking now. Not like talking words, but baby talk. The word he has learned to say is "agoo" my mom and I have been telling him to say it over and over and he says it all the time now haha. Isaac is only 2 months and a week (pheww time passes) and he has such a beautiful character. He has these big dark brown eyes and when he is wide awake he looks at everything like hes mesmerized, when he see's me he gives me the biggest and cutest smile you have ever seen. I love it! I noticed he loves to talk when people are talking. He just goes on and on thinking he is talking! lol. He is also a big mover. He continuously kicks his legs and moves his arms almost like he never got rid of the habit like when he was in my tummy. When I lay him on his tummy for "tummy time" he lifts his head up and kicks his legs like he thinks he is going somewhere. These are honestly the most memorable and best moments of my life. Sometimes I wish I had someone to share this with.

My first time with the baby sick

Well the time has come to where I am sick, and now the baby is sick along with me. I dont like to see him sick, it scares me because he is so small. He just turned two months and he gets his shots tomorrow so I am hoping that he will be able to get them, last I checked the doctor won't give him his shots if he is sick. I know this will upset me because I have waited so long for his shots and I dont want to risk him to other sicknesses in the world. I just got sick myself and I am not enjoying it. I hate being sick because I get more lazy, my appetite slows down, and then I risk getting others sick just like my baby. Any tips on what I can do to get better quicker?

time goes by and things get better

I have met someone, his name is Steven. so far I like him and I think that we can make something out of this tiny spark we have. One thing that makes me fear getting into some kind of relationship again is the fear of it falling apart. I get so worried that if I give my heart out again I will end up getting dropped like a hot tamale again. One thing is for sure though. We are happy. He is more then I want and need but I don't let that get to me. I just want to make sure that when we make things official that it goes good. i am not sure what to do being a single mom. Now that I am a mom everything is a new experience. What should I do?

how should I handle this situation?

This past Saturday my father told me I can go out while he watched the baby. He also told me that he was just going to stay home with his girlfriend and watch a movie. He did not give me a certain curfew to come home and he said to call him if I stayed out a little later. At first he seemed like he was ok with anything that I did. So I went out with a friend and around 11 we decided to catch a late movie. So I called my dad and told him I would be home at 1. He started telling me I was taking advantage of him watching the baby. Now I understand what he ment but he didn't give me certain directions on how late I can stay out and he did not tell me he would be bothered of how late I stayed. So I told him that it was unfair on how he was acting and that I needed this time to be out so I can relieve some stress. I am home all day everyday just with the baby and it can get to me not having anything to do. So I ended up leaving the movie early so he wouldn't get mad at me and came home. In the morning I noticed that there was alcohol in the kitchen. I know that my father is responsible but I felt that it was disrespectful to drink while watching my infant. How would you handle that...Now he is my father and I am living under his roof, but I am not sure how to have an adult talk about how I feel about this. Any advice?

life being a new mom

Well so far being a single mom at the age of 19 is going smooth. I try to see everyday as a new adventure since the baby grows more each day. It gets tough considering that I don't have the right amount of money to do what I need to survive, but I have been lucky enough to still be on my feet. I am home everyday with the baby and the only thing I do is watch tv, take care of the baby, do homework, take care of the baby, do laundry, eat, and take care of the baby...its kind of sad that its all I do. Sometimes I wish I could have something to do besides this but I know it is my responsibility. The same subject comes up about the baby knowing his father. When things are complicated its so hard to decide what to do in tough situations that I know can't solve its self. What should I tell him. I know I cant lie to him and make him think someone else is his father. I don't want him to resent me when he gets to the age where he can understand why his father isn't around. My mother says it doesn't matter if his father is in his life because he is loved and that is all that matters. I believe that to. Tell me what you guys think! =)

my labor

Recently I had my baby boy on January 13th, 2010. I was told what labor would be like but I didn't imagine that mine would be so hard. I ended up being in labor for 4 days. It started with minor contractions and then they got stronger, I was told I was only 1 centimeter dialated for 3 days. I went into the hospital 2 times in one night in pain and with contractions every 3-5 minutes apart but they still did not admit me. The next day, after stying up all night with level 8 contractions, I went into a normal appointment and was told I was really 3 centimeters dialated for a while. I was shocked and because I was so tired and malnutritioned from staying up all night I had to get the epideral even though my birth plan was without one. In the end the nurses that helped me were telling me the wrong information and I had a safe labor before it got really bad. That was one of my challenges I will never ever forget.